"Where Tim Rickard has gone..."
candle
Kindle
cattle
cuttle
cat-kill
cut all
Coin Deal
cot tool...
Can't Do
Croc Doll
Cat Call
can door
Another O-fer - but I only submitted 2.
BEST POEMS
“Eve and Adam,” the Lord said on high,
“Eat the fruit of the tree and you’ll die!”
But the snake said to Eve,
“That you cannot believe.
That would sure make a mean apple pie!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Anyone up for an apple daiquiri?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
You mean you weren’t talking to me? I thought I heard you say, “Nice asp!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
The funk continues - only one caption, and the limerick.
BEST POEMS
"This convention is really a thrill.
Where's the others, like Benny and Bill?"
All the others are dead.
It seems just Bob and Ted
Are the 1 percent Lysol won't kill.
Ken Sheldon
Other Entry
Man, what a dump! I love it!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I've been in a funk for a while - put in four captions and none made the top. TGF limericks...
BEST POEMS
“It’s a problem,” said angel dog Suzie.
“Heaven’s high and it makes me quite woozy!
While cat chasing’s allowed,
I can’t fall off a cloud
Since that first step is really a doozie!”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
OK. Let’s just call it a tie…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Of course, you’re outnumbered. All dogs go here.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. First, the bad news: up here, you only have one life. The good news: it’s eternal.
Ken Sheldon
You should see the parakeets when they get their wings. With two pair, they can’t fly worth a darn!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
The cartoons have been getting a bit harder - I only entered three captions and got one in the top along with the limerick.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
I know there’s length, width, height and time. I’m going to find the fifth dimension in my beautiful balloon.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
“Was a pleasant balloon ride his aim?
Is my husband alright?” wondered Jane.
You know, Jane wasn’t thrilled.
It was hydrogen filled
And was sporting the “Hindenburg” name.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
As a joke, someone thought it would be fun to put Sarah Palin in a hot air balloon. That was a week ago. It still hasn’t come back down…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
How dare he fly off with that young hussy!!! I’ll find that no-good, two-timin’ wizard if it’s the last thing I do!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I don't own a smartphone, so I didn't have too much to go with. However, I did get two of six in the top of the blog.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
Thank you for downloading “How to Feed Bears With Timothy Treadwell.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEMS
The bear’s smartphone’s so slick. He will crow
There’s an app that he uses to show
Where’s the nearest of woods
So he does like he should
Every time that he thinks he should go.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
OTHER VOTE-GETTING CAPTIONS (our judges also gave the nod to these)
Welcome to Yogi’s Pick-a-nick Basket Locator. Enter your location:
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Doing it in the woods right now. Where can I find some TP?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
A
couple I thought were sure to make the top...
TROUBLE AT PTI!!! I’M HIT!!! I’M HIT!!! (A
bear was shot to death at the Greensboro Airport)
Lion: Girl, dog, scarecrow & tin man coming. Tiger & I think you can take them alone.
CULater. (They missed a Wizard of Oz
reference?)
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Just wasn't inspired by this week's cartoon, and I pulled my first 0-fer in a long, long time. The limerick made the top though...
BEST POEM
Laughs and giggles from kids will abound
When an untied balloon flies around.
It will swoop left and right
With astonishing height,
While it’s making that flatulent sound.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Of course my voice is squeaky. We’re all filled with helium.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Oh yeah? Well, I say YOU’RE full of hot air!!!
Ken Sheldon
Man, I’m so full I could pop!
Ken Sheldon
Hey Blue! Show him how you can turn yourself into a giraffe!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Another good week - runner up again, and in total, four of five made the top of the blog along with the limerick.
RUNNERS-UP
We’re tired of sitting all the time. Our butts are Thor!
Ken Sheldon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Real bad fog approaching from the rear, sir!
Ken Sheldon
No, that’s just lazy artist syndrome.
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
We’re all tired of lutefisk. Can we stop somewhere for a hamburger?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Why do we need to know how to get to the Castle Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh?
Ken Sheldon
To find the Knights who say "Nee!" of course.
BEST/WORST PUN
We’re tired of sitting all the time. Our butts are Thor!
Ken Sheldon
BEST POEMS
Said the Viking, “I have to guffaw.
When this ship’s ugly dragon I saw,
I exclaimed, ‘It’s a sign!
It just has to be mine!
It looks just like my mother-in-law!’”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
We’re sailing to Minnesota to start a football team?
Ken Sheldon
I guess I'm not into bathroom humor. Still, 3 of 5 made the top of the blog along with the limerick.
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I think Rickard’s starting to get Ken going. After all that candle-Kindle stuff, he draws “can doors.”
They’d bolt the seats to the bowls in here if maintenance didn’t have to clean every night.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Trust me, I don’t want to get Ken going …
I'm
not sure how the second one made inside joke...
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
So, your grandfather was the logo for “To Tell The Truth?”
Ken Sheldon
BEST POEMS
Out in Glasgow, a building was built.
Picture signage was used to the hilt.
In the ladies rooms, lasses
Observed there were masses
Of lads who walked in wearing kilts.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I think they used too much starch on my dress.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
No, this isn’t a ladies room. They store female foosball players in here.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Had one week with no cartoon (I put in a caption anyway, smart aleck that I am...), and the one below ran for two. Seven of eight made the top of the blog along with the limerick.
RUNNERS-UP
Let me get this straight: You called a cat and expect him to do what YOU want???
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I’m sorry, Mr. Rickard’s still on vacation. Can I take a message?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Oh, I’m just a temp here. I’m filling in for Cupid.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(I got busted – again – for reusing art.)
Having a website showing all the cartoons from January, 2009 helps the memory. It has to be the same office - the background's the same color in both cartoons.
Hello, you’ve reached “Cat Call”… Yes, that means Rickard has gone from candle to Kindle to cattle to cuttle to cat-kill to cut all to “Coin Deal” to cot tool to “Can't Do” to “Croc Doll” to “Cat Call.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
… And a partridge in a pear tree …
Yeah, I know those alligators have run for the last three weeks. I’M sure not going to tell them it’s my turn…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
I’m sorry, this is HR. Dilbert’s at extension 356.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
Jill’s a feline who’s really quite gabby.
Cats will call her whose moods are so crabby.
Because Jill is so nice,
They all ask her advice,
And she’s known to them all as “Dear Tabby.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
THE "NO CARTOON THIS WEEK” CAPTIONS
You know, Tim, we’ve been getting too many JOU entries. Run this message instead and see if they buy it.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entry
Good Morning – Catnip Abusers Anonymous. May I help you?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Made Runner Up again - 2 of four made the top of the blog
RUNNERS-UP
So, I see you're wearing your Crocs.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST/WORST PUN
Nice ensemble! Is it gnu?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST POEM
"I'll be shopping today," said Ms. Gator,
"For some shoes and a purse. See you later!"
Hubby let her because
With her teeth and her jaws
He'd get hurt if he tried to debate 'er.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
Oh, that outfit makes you my little "Croc Doll!" Do you know what that means?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
That purse does look familiar! DAD!!!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Another harder cartoon - two of five made the top of the blog
BEST
INSIDE JOKE
Ken has motioned, and Lewis and Mike have seconded, that our motto be changed to "Can't Do." Do you know what that means?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Oh, I think people do. See below.
Help! Rickard's mind is stuck. "Rickard has gone from candle to Kindle to cattle to cuttle…" to canine and Colonna. "to claw hammer." to conference.
Henry, Greensboro
Rickard's gone from candle to... can't do well.
Rickard's gone from candle to... can dwell.
Lewis Shilane, Joplin, MO
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
Our worst fears came true. The only entertainment we could book was Justin Bieber and the girl that sings that “Friday” song.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Cause Saturday comes after Friday and then comes Sunday …
BEST POEMS
At the Pessimist Club, all are wailin’
Since their leader said at the unveilin’
Of the speaker this year,
“We may all disappear.
This year’s keynote is by Sarah Palin.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Other Entries
I am pleased to announce that we have failed to meet our membership goal for the tenth year in a row.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I was expecting to see more people here…
Ken Sheldon, Elon
We will not be scheduling next year’s meeting since that Mayan calendar might just be right.
Ken Sheldon, Elon